Matt Iseman

I am your typical, run of the mill guy who loves his friends and family and thinks classical music is the Hairmetal bands of the 80s. I could eat breakfast 3 meals a day, especially because it's the easiest to make. I take pride in the ability to laugh at myself before others have the chance which makes me feel comfortable in any situation.

In high school, after I was kicked out of the math club and the chess club, I briefly joined the culture club... but I was never good at tumbling so I was kicked out of that club as well. Some years ago, I had a positive throat culture, but it was treated with penicillin, so now, I guess, I have no culture. Physical fitness is very important to me, that's why I compete in the Kumite: the illegal, underground world of Japanese street fighting. And I have reached the prestigious rank of yokozuna in sumo thumb wrestling.

When I was 13 years old, I sat with the London Philharmonic, first chair in air guitar. I was classically trained but suffered a breakdown and haven't picked up an instrument since, but I have recently resumed lip-synching. I was the 99th caller once. But they wanted the 104th, so I was only on for like a second or two. And I was supposed to be featured on America's Most Wanted. But then they realized that skateboarding is not a crime, so my segment never aired. Although I should say up front that I am not a skateboarder.

I am pretty much a guy who is looking to enjoy life to its fullest. That's it.