Come by Buffalo! You'll love it here. And shit.
When and where are you coming to California?
Keith with all do respect we in Detroit are perfectly fucked up.
We have cold beer. I have whisky. Lots of whisky.
You'll be loved. Well, sort of. Come to Albuquerque. It's positively the biggest vortex of weirdness you have witnessed in a long time.
I am a comic, a drunk and lover of losers. Losers have the best stories and all the empathy.
I am old and soft in the middle. I think I'm the oldest guy on MySpace. Touch my belly. Go ahead, touch it. Squishy like summer dog shit.
I am a road pig, I travel doing stand-up of a cruel and unusual sort, creating as much live chaos as possible if only to break up the monotony of a world where adreneline seems to be a controlled substance.
I am also running for The Presidency of The United States in 2008. No, I'm not kidding. The Myspace page for the presidential run is the first in my Top whatever.
I play all over the country and all over the world in a lot of shitholes. I might be playing right down the street from you. Check the calendar or my road dates blog. If you only know me from television, then you aren't familiar with what I do. Television is shit but you take easy money when you can. Live shows are the only true freedom of speech left. Get out of the house. I will only be alive for so long.
I add all who ask and some that didn't. I join every group that invites me and a lot that would rather not have me. Fuck em. I cant respond to every comment or email, but I do to most and I appreciate them all.
If I've tried adding you and you don't know me, it's because I think you'll get what I do. And what I do isn't for most. Who knows what I saw that made me think that. I could be delusional. Maybe it's because you're a drunk, a freak, bi-polar, angry, disillusioned with it all, funny, irrational, impressionable, burdened or simply hot. Who doesn't like hot? Whatever it was, I ain't trying to bang you. I have enough problems. I have hooker money and my life is still a shambles.
Steal my stuff off of Limewire and don't apologize.
Then come to the show.
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