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      • Doug Stanhope Photo #1
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      Stand-Up/ As Seen on TV
      I am a comic, a drunk and lover of losers. Losers have the best stories and all the empathy. I am old and soft in the middle. I think I'm the oldest guy on MySpace. Touch my belly. Go ahead, touch it. Squishy like summer dog shit. I am a road pig, I travel doing stand-up of a cruel and ... read more
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      COMMENTS ABOUT Doug Stanhope

      MORE INFO ABOUT Doug Stanhope

      Bio

      I am a comic, a drunk and lover of losers. Losers have the best stories and all the empathy.

      I am old and soft in the middle. I think I'm the oldest guy on MySpace. Touch my belly. Go ahead, touch it. Squishy like summer dog shit.

      I am a road pig, I travel doing stand-up of a cruel and unusual sort, creating as much live chaos as possible if only to break up the monotony of a world where adreneline seems to be a controlled substance.

      I am also running for The Presidency of The United States in 2008. No, I'm not kidding. The Myspace page for the presidential run is the first in my Top whatever.

      I play all over the country and all over the world in a lot of shitholes. I might be playing right down the street from you. Check the calendar or my road dates blog. If you only know me from television, then you aren't familiar with what I do. Television is shit but you take easy money when you can. Live shows are the only true freedom of speech left. Get out of the house. I will only be alive for so long.

      I add all who ask and some that didn't. I join every group that invites me and a lot that would rather not have me. Fuck em. I cant respond to every comment or email, but I do to most and I appreciate them all.

      If I've tried adding you and you don't know me, it's because I think you'll get what I do. And what I do isn't for most. Who knows what I saw that made me think that. I could be delusional. Maybe it's because you're a drunk, a freak, bi-polar, angry, disillusioned with it all, funny, irrational, impressionable, burdened or simply hot. Who doesn't like hot? Whatever it was, I ain't trying to bang you. I have enough problems. I have hooker money and my life is still a shambles.

      Steal my stuff off of Limewire and don't apologize.

      Then come to the show.

      Categories: Comedy

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