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      I like riding my Vespa in a red cape on the 401 and 427 freeways. I also can pilot tricycles up several inclines with unflagging speed, while cooking thirty-minute brownies in nineteen minutes. Toronto is my nomadic home. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy drums. I also enj... read more
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      I like riding my Vespa in a red cape on the 401 and 427 freeways. I also can pilot tricycles up several inclines with unflagging speed, while cooking thirty-minute brownies in nineteen minutes. Toronto is my nomadic home. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy drums. I also enjoy hunting wild game in the Annex on Fridays in rush hour. I have been known to scale a few buildings and crush ice with my bare knees. I also enjoy dinning at Fresh in full mid-evil battle gear with my friend Lou. On Mondays, I tear down and rebuild the Bloor and Youge subway station on my lunch break, making it more efficient in the area of heat retention. I'm pumped on urban hang gliding. On Tuesdays, I repair electrical appliances free of charge for disadvantaged families. I even defended Sarnia, Ontario from a horde of ferocious army ants using only a hoe and a large glass of water. Currently my Saturdays are open. While on vacation in North York, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorist who had siezed a small bakery. I own a small company in the Beaches that breeds prize-winning oysters. And on Sundays the laws of physics do not apply to me.

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