Jonathan Coulton in Boston

y is a major holiday. Everything is closed: Boston Public schools, banks, BOston City offices, etc. PEOPLE DRINK ALOT The underground train is not a subway. It's the "T". No one goes "To Cape Cod", We go "down the Cape". There is no where to park. Anywhere. Take the "T". Order the "cold tea" in Chinatown after 2:00 am you'll get a pitcher full of beer. Three straight days of 90 temperatures is a heat wave. Six inches of snow is a "light dusting." Bostonians...always "bang a left" as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it. Bostonians...know that everything is about "a five-minute walk." Bostonians...believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness. Bostonians...think that 63-degree ocean water is warm. How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly: Worcester: Wuhstah Gloucester : Glaw-stah Leicester: Lestah Woburn: Woo-burn Dedham : Dedim Revere: Re-vee-ah Quincy: Quinzee Weymouth: Way-mith Peabody: Peabutty Waltham : Wall-tham Chatham: Chattum And finally... NO ONE who lives here EVER calls it "Beantown" ...get your mind that? FACT: We are better than every other state! you know what candle pin bowling is you call new year's eve first night "sprinkles" are jimmies you yell yankees suck at sox games, when they're not playing the yankees the only way do describe something awesome is to say its wicked pissah you know that a yellow light means 5 cahs can go and a red light means 3. So come to Boston we are THE best people ever.

Please come to boston for a concert. An Artist like you deserves to have a great audience. Here is a list of reasons why Massachusetts is better than everyone else.[Lmao.] WE have SAM ADAMS!!! and WACHUSETT BREWERY!!! and MANY other micro brews that kick ass! Cuz every micro brew ive had from other states suck compared to Massachusetts Microbrew.....Mmmm....BEER!!!! Welcome to Boss-tin. For those of you who have never been here, this is a good guideline. There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street, and no dairy on Milk Street. Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oddah": Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc. So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc. If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill. If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley. Cambridge is NOT Boston. Massachusetts Avenue is called "Mass Ave"; Commonwealth Avenue is "Com Ave".. Dorchester Ave is "Dot Ave" South Boston is Southie. The South End is the South End. East Boston is Eastie. The North End is East of the former West End. The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night. Dorchester or just plain "Dot" Definitions: Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't. If it is fizzy and flavored, it's "tonic". "Soda" is CLUB SODA. "Pop" is Dad. "Tonic water" is Tonic Water. The smallest beer is a pint. "Kah-kis" are not trousers, they're what you use to lock and start your vehicle. Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid less than $6/pound, you got scrod. It's not a water fountain; it's a bubblah. It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel. It's not a spucky, or a hero, or a grinder, or a hoagie: It's a "SUB". It's not a "Frank" - it's a "hot dog". Franks are money in France. Police don't drive patrol units, or black and whites: they drive a "croozah". It's not a rubber band, it's an elastic. It's not a traffic circle, it's a rotary. "Going to the islands" means Martha's Vineyard & Nantucket. The Pats = The Patriots The Sox = The Red Sox The C's = The Celtics The B's = The Bruins Things not to do: Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd ... they'll tow it. Don't sleep in the Common. Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day. Don't wear a Yankees hat (or t-shirt, or jacket, or anything) anytime, anywhere. EVER!!! Things you should know: There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two Hancock buildings (one old, one new for each). The colored lights on top the old Hancock tell the weathah: "Solid blue, clear view...." "Flashing blue, clouds due...." "Solid red, rain ahead...." "Flashing red, snow instead...." - (except in summer; when flashing red means the Red Sox game was rained out) Route 128 is also I-95 south. It's also 93 north. And there are no signs that say 128. St. Patrick's Da

I started a demand for Jonathan in Hartford...but I would travel to Boston for him!!!!

Thanks, brian! Done!

ClaudiaM, you can edit the description for the demand by clicking on the "Edit this demand" link under "Owner Tools" on the right-hand column (that is, if you are signed in using the username that started this particular Demand).

Made me start slowly learning to play the guitar, just so I could sing Future Soon. Still can't, but someday in the future... soon.

What, no edit button? Hilarious comma dammit.